The story of my naked gig

I had a dream.

Everyone knows about that nightmare, where you find yourself completely  naked in a serious public environment and all the stares are pointing towards you and things just start getting worse by the second, panic builds up and you probably end up with the grand finally of pissing yourself or doing something stupid like that.  

Well for some people (more than we think) this nightmare is actually a dream for them. I am not talking about the street corner streaker or the guy that always runs in the middle of the football pitch naked and gets chased by angry stadium security guards nor the pleasure to piss yourself. I am talking about the everyday guy or girl who needs to fulfill that need to let it all out (literally) in public. 

It's extremely difficult for a londoner to fulfill this need. First of all it's highly illegal, he/she would probably get arrested, secondly you need to have the balls to do it (excuse my language) and finally, London is a cold place most of the time. You have the person who always leaves their window wide open when walking around naked in their home, the one who sunbaths on their urban terrace surrounded by buildings and the odd friend who when drunk randomly starts taking off their cloths in the middle of your living room.

I am writing this article to talk about the nightmare I had last night. It all started when this guy talks to me about a east london club called Starkers. 

"STARKERS!   is a fantastic party in central London for anyone who enjoys being nude to get naked and have fun!". http://www.starkersclub.co.uk/index.html

 The idea of such a night out must of been subconsciously macerating in my brain because it generated the most bizarre dream. This is what happened:

I was programmed to play at a gig in a east london club. I am back stage walking towards the stage. When I arrive in the spotlight I find my self fully clothed surrounded by only naked people who are laughing cause I am wearing jeans and a tshirt, the stress start to build up, so decide to take off my clothes, but it's impossible, as soon as i take the tshirt off it is replaced by another and another and another. At this moment a police man dives at me, nocks me to the floor and arrests me. In the police car I look outside the window and realize that everyone is naked. The judge condemned me with "clotheshibitionism". 

www.myspace.com/halfayear  

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Half A Year (First thoughts on Italian tour)

I love excuses. I forgot my camera when going on tour, the Italian region I toured still worked on Dial-up internet connection, my days were filled up to the max and my dog ate my computer. 

Where do I start? 

Travel: I took three days to go down to the city of Torre San Giovanni in the region of Lecce where I was awaited. I felt like taking my time by visiting the important Italian cities like Florence, Rome and Naples. On the other hand It wasn't my choice in the end to arrive at the wrong San Giovanni!rrrrrr! Who would of thought that in the same region there would be 2 different cities called San Giovanni. It was only when I called Kez (Free Peace drummer) that I soon realized my stupid mistake and turn backwards to travel another 9 hours to arrive at my correct destination. Twat!

I could go on for ages on Italian public transport unusual problems and it's bizarre ways but instead of writing loads of frustrated brain fart I am just going to say this: To go from Paris to Marseille it takes less than 3 hours by train. To go from Lecce to Genova it takes 25 hours by train. Final point.

Food: The Italians have amazing fruits, vegetable, meats and cheeses. When put together it makes some of the tastiest food I have ever eaten. When you don't have a kitchen and you are pretty low budget wise you end up eating Calzone and Pasta for two weeks. 70 Kg on the way there 73 Kg on the way back and I assure you it's not muscle from all the swimming.

People: I really love the italian way of life. Similar to the southern french life style, they like the good things in life. Family, food (ice cream and coffee) and siesta under an olive tree. At first approach the italians can seem somewhat aggressive in there way to speak, the well known exaggerated gestures, plus their energetic tone, combine in an unusual uncertainty. 

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Half A Year (Going On Tour to Italy!)

The up and coming band "Free Peace" ( www.myspace.com/fre3peace) asked me to play as the support act for their Italy tour! They are good friends of mine from University, so not only are we going to play some wicked music but also have a cracking time down at the heal of Italy around the Lecce region, near the city of Brindisi. The dates are:

7 Aug 2009 20:00	San Tiago	San Giovanni
9 Aug 2009 20:00	Contiero	Gallipoli
11 Aug 2009 20:00	Pura vida	San Gionvanni
12 Aug 2009 20:00	Abbey Road	San Giovanni
14 Aug 2009 20:00	Gold Suite	San Giovanni
15 Aug 2009 20:00	Robinsons Club	Marina Di Ugento
16 Aug 2009 20:00	Lido L’ombra	San Giovanni
17 Aug 2009 20:00	Solatio

Plus we will be busking on the streets of Brindisi during the day to do some valuable promotion for the evening gigs and to sell some albums. Distributing posters, flyers, talking to people, letting them know about who we are and the events that are happening.

So for the past couple days I have been preparing many things, in order to have everything I need when I am in Italy. Besides bringing my guitar, passport, sun screen and a couple of jonnies (remember that abortion is still illegal in Italy!), the most important and time consuming thing was that I want to sell some Demo CDs down there. My time is limited and the cost of production for small quantities is expensive when you ask a professional.  So I've had to make 100 handcrafted album covers and printed CDs. So I went down to the nearest Virgin Megastore bought some 170g photo paper, 100 blank Cds, Microsoft Application CD stickers, quick drying glue and a cutter. Then the tricky part is to get the layout, printing, folding and gluing of the Cd covers right. It's a very repetitive job, so a fresh beer can always help.

I am leaving for Florence (Firenze) tomorrow at 6 am, then the only thing I know is I need to be at the Brindisi airport at 8:10 am on the 5th of August meet up with the rest of the band. So in between those times and train travels, I will be visiting Perugia, Rome and Napoli and eating lots of spaghetti, Ice cream and dried meats.

I will be photo and video documenting all of my trip, in order to share my travels with you. 

Peace!

www.myspace.com/halfayear 

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Half A Year (Business Card)

Patrick Bateman would of been envious by my freshly printed, high quality 200g/m2 5760 dpi resolution paper, ORC A Extended font, Epson ink, hand written signature with custom sky gray background business card. Now I am going to go chop up some chicken and bring back some videos. "That's Bone".

This next clip is from the legendary American Psycho "Business Card" scene wherein several business executives egos clash as they compare the engraving, texture, typeface and coloring of their cards.

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